Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams,
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means?
First I’m going shopping in my underwear,
Then all of sudden I’m floating in midair,
My lips fall off, and everybody starts to stare,
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere
Now, Doctor, wait a minute, you ain’t heard nothing yet,
Next comes the part that I won’t ever forget,
Now, I’m being followed by these Russian spies,
They give me some velcro, and order of fries,
Suddenly I’m bowling on the Starship Enterprise,
I fall down a hole and that’s when I realize –
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
Night after night, after night, after night
All right!
Doctor, won’t you tell me, am I going insane?
Was it something I ate, or something wrong with my brain?
See, I’m naked in church when I meet a dinosaur
I try to run but my feet have been nailed to the floor,
Then a midget pushes me through a revolving door,
And I’m back in the very same place I was before
Now I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
Night after night, after night, after night
And I can’t bust out, and I can’t break free,
And it’s gettin’ just a little too stuffy here for me,
And I can’t go home, and I can’t get loose,
And I try to escape, but it’s just no use
And I can’t ever leave, and I can’t ever win,
And we’re running out of air, and the walls are closing in,
And I can’t go back, and I can’t get through,
But Vanna, since you are here, why don’t you let me buy a vowel from you?
Come on Vanna, come on!
Doctor, all those crazy dreams have started again,
That’s right, I even wake up screaming now and then,
See I’m coming home from work, but I forgot my address,
I’m half an hour late for my algebra test,
Then some slimy alien jumps out of my chest,
And I’m falling and falling, and I guess you know the rest
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
Night after night, after night, after night
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
Night after night, after night, after night
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
I’m stuck in a closet with Vanna White!
Night after night, after night, after night
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